Award Winning Fantasy with a Twist!

Modern Day Monsters

funny_angry_monsterI fell almost 2 weeks ago and broke my glasses. This isn’t the worst that could happen, but getting a new pair is exposing me to all kinds of monsters.

You know the ones I’m talking about –

  • The optical store that has 2 clerks working, one of whom is on the phone.
  • The lady who says “I’m not cutting in front of you. I just have a quick question.”
  • The clerk who can’t wrap his or her head around your request. “But you have two prescriptions. Are you sure you don’t want bifocals?”
  • The priority charge for a rush order that’ll be here in “a week to 10 days. We’ll call you.”

These little monsters are not just annoying for me. They make companies look stupid and leave customers considering torches and pitchforks. So before they turn on you, here are some handy-dandy tips for quelling your monsters:

Don’t introduce yourself! I don’t need to know your name or that you’re happy to help me this fine day. Just get on with it, especially if you’re in a restaurant.

Don’t ask me how I’m doing. If I’m in a restaurant, I’m hungry. If I’m in a store, I’m hopefully buying your product!

rinKGq6qTIf you don’t have exactly what I’m looking for, think about what I want and try to get me that as close as possible. While I was waiting in the optical store, one clerk was arguing with an elderly man about whether or not he could buy a child’s frame. She kept going on about the curve of the lenses; he kept going on about a tight fit. All she had to do was say the kid’s pair didn’t come in his side and steer him to a snug fit in the adult frames, but instead she very helpfully nattered on about refraction and kept 5 people waiting.

Think about what you’re saying. A rush order that takes 2 weeks is not a rush. It’s probably business as usual dressed up, and yes, customers know this. I will be discussing that charge when my glasses finally come in.

scary_faceFollow through! Whether you’re an employee or the CEO, yours is the face that looks dumb when a transaction goes bad. So if a customer calls twice to check on an order, follow-up to find the order. Surprise them and call back with an update!

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Don’t be intimidated by the big monster and go to another store. Well this one has my prescription and I need those glasses. But that’s not to say I’m not going to take advantage of their free exam offer and get an updated prescription so I can shop elsewhere next time! Now, that’s true evil. Bwa-ha-HA-HA-HA!

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