Fool Me Once…
unknown engraver, 1900
Perhaps it’s the weather, perhaps it’s the new year, but for whatever reason, I’ve been at odds most of the month. Even as I managed to write, other crises kept popping up. Finally, it dawned on me why.
FERGUS!
Wha? Ya scream like a banshee, woman!
Are you responsible for all the car trouble I’ve been having?
Car trouble? You mean the SEVENTEEN year old car that you’ve been talking about needing to replace for the past 2 years? You cannot blame us because that thing finally gave up the ghost!
It died in the school parking lot at night! I had to get a ride home from another teacher and I got a warning notice from campus security.
It was SEVENTEEN years old!
I had to spend 2 weekends at car dealerships!
Well now, that is bad, but you got a new car out of it. That’s nice, right?
It cost the earth!
Ah there’s no pleasing you. It hauls 800 pounds of compost and it runs. What more do you want?
Okay, there is that. But really, Fergus, I have been having a whole slew of bad luck lately. Are you sure that’s not you and your buddies playing tricks?
by John D. Batten, 1890
Oh sure, blame the leprechauns! It’s not like we haven’t been completely upfront with you about how we’re not little green men who horde gold. We told you the truth about our mission.
Your mission is to control the world’s money! It’s just that nobody believes it because of that silly image you created.
We warned you! We told you no one would take you seriously. Besides which, how do you know it’s us and not that claurichaun you’re writing about?
I am not responsible for your problems with Murphy. Let’s keep this civil.
Ah lass, I’m only after protecting you. Claurichauns have no loyalty. They’re not at all trustworthy, not like us leprechuans.
kathybryson 